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Does BFG this long affects your family relations?

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topic 10 Does BFG this long affects your family relations?

Post by Pink Rose on Mon Sep 15, 2008 1:12 pm

Hello! I breastfed my oldest daughter for nearly 2 yrs and still am currently BFG my 2 year old DD.

I just wanted to ask you that does BFG this long affect your family relations with others? Do you have any problems with anyone family or friend not excepting what you do?

I don't have any problems with my family as such, probably b/c my family live very spread out and we don't see each other that often. They know I BF till about 2 yrs and they accepted that, they look at my kids and think they are fine and just love me as I come I guess!

However on my DH's family's side. It's very different, and I have had nothing but numerous problems with them accepting the BFG situation, they had problems expecting the 'exclusive BFG for 6 mths' as well. They say they are so disgusted, ashamed and disappointed with me, to the point they no longer wish to see me anymore. I have tried reasoning with them, by sending them some BFG toddler info once, but no avail. Crying or Very sad My DH says they are just jealous, cos I did my 'own thing' and ignored them.

You must have problems as well? I just like to know what I have experienced is normal for an 'extended' BFG mum. Although I hate the term 'extended', b/c it makes BFG sound not 'normal'.:crazy:
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Pink Rose

Female Number of posts : 155
Tell us about yourself : A pregnant 33 yr old married stay-at-home mum with 2 girls ages 2 & 4. I have exclusively breastfed both of them for the 1st 6 mths. And, I BF my oldest till she was nearly 2 and I am still curranly BFG my youngest. I have never bought any formula or bottles!
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topic 10 Re: Does BFG this long affects your family relations?

Post by angpixi on Mon Sep 15, 2008 4:41 pm

first of all :aww: im sorry to hear you have relations like that but well done for not listening and well done to your hubby for standing by you! me and my partner dont have much family! my dad just accepts me - hes seen me not follow the average way since i was young! my brother is much the same as me. however i still have had numerous negative comments i bf my first 2 until they were 8mths ish (various reasons, theres a post somewhere!) and my third and fourth til they were over 2 and i intend to feed willow until then if she so wishes! oh and any more if i have them!!
the comments soon die out when i ignored them however and ive never lost friendship through it, its a horrible position youre in but its them who are smallminded and after all its none of their business how you raise your child cos its your child! :aww: :aww:
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angpixi

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topic 10 Re: Does BFG this long affects your family relations?

Post by Pink Rose on Tue Sep 16, 2008 3:38 pm

Thanks for that, I am glad to hear that it's somewhat normal to experience negative comments over BFG for longer than what is considered normal by society.

My in-law family relations was alright, quite good in fact I thought b/c I used to take my MIL on holidays with me (before babies came along!). It's just amazing that some people take BFG so personally to the point of ending friendship! My husband had a row with his sister on the phone once about why. My SIL simply stated that she hates me and wants nil with me b/c I think I am better than anyone else. This hurt b/c I have only seen my SIL about 4 times (for short times as well) with my 1st baby and I haven't seen her since! So I hardly can be drumming in the attitude that "I am better than anyone" else b/c I BF and plus I am too shy and nice to do anything like that!

I think most of this 'business' comes from my SIL, she's managed to convince the rest of my hubby's family that what I am doing is wrong, avoid me etc.

It's horrible and it's been nearly 5 years now! I guess I will never be accepted, b/c there's uncle who had married a lady that no-one approved of so they had nothing to do them both till the lady died! And the same thing happened to my BIL's girlfriend till they split up. So I guess it's the same kind of thing for me and my hubby.

At the end of the day, it the children that suffer isn't it? Perhaps they are better off not knowing people like that anyway.

What a strange world we live in, heh?
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Pink Rose

Female Number of posts : 155
Tell us about yourself : A pregnant 33 yr old married stay-at-home mum with 2 girls ages 2 & 4. I have exclusively breastfed both of them for the 1st 6 mths. And, I BF my oldest till she was nearly 2 and I am still curranly BFG my youngest. I have never bought any formula or bottles!
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topic 10 Re: Does BFG this long affects your family relations?

Post by angpixi on Tue Sep 16, 2008 6:48 pm

yeah! its a strange world! as my nan used to say 'it takes all sorts'! it very normal to experience all sorts of negitivity when bf especially after 6mths and even more so after1yr!! it sounds to me like your sil is jealous maybe not of the bf as such but of your independance and ability to 'do your own thing' they all sound like a stubborn bunch with blinkers!!
like you say maybe its for the best anyway you wouldnt want your kids around such opinions! its great your hubby stands by you and your own side too!
:aww: :aww: :aww:
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angpixi

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Tell us about yourself : About you: Im a mum of 5 amazing kids who im very proud of! ive bf and co-slept all of them! im still co- sleeping with the 2 youngest, my oldest is neary 19. Here to help Smile
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topic 10 Re: Does BFG this long affects your family relations?

Post by Pink Rose on Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:55 am

Yeah, you could well be right there! Also I think that my SIL could have also been jealous when I took her mother on my holidays with me, maybe that's where it had started. She didn't like that fact I got on well with her mother so she destroyed it.

:drink:
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Pink Rose

Female Number of posts : 155
Tell us about yourself : A pregnant 33 yr old married stay-at-home mum with 2 girls ages 2 & 4. I have exclusively breastfed both of them for the 1st 6 mths. And, I BF my oldest till she was nearly 2 and I am still curranly BFG my youngest. I have never bought any formula or bottles!
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topic 10 Re: Does BFG this long affects your family relations?

Post by sinfulskin on Thu Oct 02, 2008 10:15 am

Ive only been feeding 10 months and just of late its affecting others I find it amusing how uneducated and small minded people can be. Very Happy
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topic 10 Re: Does BFG this long affects your family relations?

Post by Pink Rose on Thu Oct 02, 2008 2:27 pm

I have found people starting to get 'funny' just after 6 mths! I think you have got it all to come! I will be here for you if you wanna talk. :drink:
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Pink Rose

Female Number of posts : 155
Tell us about yourself : A pregnant 33 yr old married stay-at-home mum with 2 girls ages 2 & 4. I have exclusively breastfed both of them for the 1st 6 mths. And, I BF my oldest till she was nearly 2 and I am still curranly BFG my youngest. I have never bought any formula or bottles!
Your mood today : Brooding
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topic 10 Re: Does BFG this long affects your family relations?

Post by Natasha on Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:46 pm

:aww:

I haven't had it happen to me really, don't think people would even bother as I wouldn't listen anyway Razz

It was my MIL that gave me the idea of breastfeeding in the first place, Im lucky.

I have read of this type of story many many times though, so your not alone hun :bighug:

***********************************************
Breastfed Lottie for nearly two years and Livi for 13 months.
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topic 10 Re: Does BFG this long affects your family relations?

Post by Squiglet on Fri Oct 03, 2008 7:21 pm

Its happened to me... I've had some issues with DH's family over BFG lil miss beyond 6 months. Apparently it has no nutricional benefit beyond 6 months and mothers who do, do it only for their own emotional reasons.... I don't plan to stop anytime soon, but I make sure its not in their face so to speak. But then it means they see their grandchild less... Their loss really. My mums really supportive although she thinks I should be making lil miss independent of boob and I should express all her feeds and give them in a cup...

But lil miss likes the comfort so I can't see that changing any time in the near future. As I see it everyone has an opinion on everything you do with their child, and my children are happy and healthy so I can't be doing anything wrong.
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topic 10 Re: Does BFG this long affects your family relations?

Post by Pink Rose on Mon Oct 06, 2008 2:21 pm

Squiglet wrote:she thinks I should be making lil miss independent of boob and I should express all her feeds and give them in a cup...

What is so dreadful about the boob? I don't get it why some people just think a boob is so bad to be sucking on passed 6 mths.Rolling Eyes
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Pink Rose

Female Number of posts : 155
Tell us about yourself : A pregnant 33 yr old married stay-at-home mum with 2 girls ages 2 & 4. I have exclusively breastfed both of them for the 1st 6 mths. And, I BF my oldest till she was nearly 2 and I am still curranly BFG my youngest. I have never bought any formula or bottles!
Your mood today : Brooding
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topic 10 Re: Does BFG this long affects your family relations?

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