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* You feel as though you haven't got enough
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Why do people stick their nose in?

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default Why do people stick their nose in?

Post by Squiglet on Wed Jul 23, 2008 10:15 pm

Why do people see fit to stick their nose into things where its not welcome namely my breastfeeding lil miss...

Now lil miss is 6 months everyone expects me to wean her off the breast and I don't want to... :iconsad: I had to work very hard to get rid of the bottle feeds the hospital introduced, and no one ever congratulated me, I went back to work but kept lil miss on boob milk, and no one congratulated me, and now she's hit 6 months, every one looks down on me because I am still breastfeeding. GAH!!! Feels like I'm damed if I do and Im damed if I don't.

The IL's came over tonight and FIL broached the subject (its obviously been discussed in private).... DH strategically zones out Mad Rolling Eyes .... am I STILL bfing... er yes... When do you plan to keep doing THAT for... well the WHO say at least until she is 2 years old.... (shocked look on MIL's face)...so she says, you do know that there is no value to breastfeeding beyond 6 months.... Mad Mad Mad

Now my general rule is to ignore such crap, but now I am going to feel uncomfortable feeding lil miss infront of them, and its not fair... I've worked so hard with lil miss to keep her bf'd and then someone comes along and says that..

My mums started too but least she thinks keeping lil miss on boob milk is important... she just thinks I should wean lil miss off the boob and give her ebm in a cup... More so that lil miss stops using me as dummy to go to sleep and becomes independent with feeding.... but she knows that I will boob feed lil miss morning and night at least till lil miss says otherwise...

*sigh* just sometimes its really disheartening... doesn't help that I had an awful day at work too.. Sad feel all emotional and know that I don't have much longer to feed lil miss myself before shes too independent to want mummy anymore.. Sad Sad Sad

What should I do Sad
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Post by piesmummy2006 on Thu Jul 24, 2008 12:08 am

if it where me i would feed untill she wants to stop or you feel the time is right i plan to feed Nimah to 2yrs and said that from 1yr and got terrible looks even when i said the WHO states 2yrs! i got the when you stopping from about 6mths too, it does make you feel very sad and disheartening they should be saying how proud they are of you. even to this day the only family member is my mum who is proud of me , my sisters think its wrong but you do become used to it
(not that we should have too!!!!! Mad ) and can happily ignore them. remember you are doing great and do what is best for you and lil miss i would ignore them and feed loads infront of them, i know this can be a little hard at first tho.

hope this makes you feel a little better. xxxxx :aww:
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Post by just Rachel on Thu Jul 24, 2008 6:17 am

Some people are just plain ignorant and have no idea on how long you can BF for......As for in laws.. we decided in our home that no-one outside our immediate family would influence our decisions as a couple and we would not let others interfere,
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Post by jimmer73 on Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:15 am

Oh your MIL has just annoyed me no end.

Some smart replies to your MIL.

MIL: you do know that there is no value to breastfeeding beyond 6 months....

You: Oh Really that's interesting. Where did you get your information from? Which medical article did you read that in? That's really interesting because all the research I've done in medical journals says that BF is beneficial until at least 2 years of age. Can you give me a copy of the stuff that you've read because I really value having a rounded view on bf.

But in reality I think my own reply would be:

MIL: you do know that there is no value to breastfeeding beyond 6 months....

Me: Shut up! Your talking from your bum! (but really a stronger word than that).

In all seriousness though, stand your ground! You know what's best and if they start feeling uncomfortable about you nursing in front of them...hold your head up high and nurse right in front of them. We are all proud of your achievement. You are doing and have done a great job. Congratulations on going back to work and continuing bf.

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Post by emmiesmummy on Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:19 am

:aww: Try not to let them get to you, Ive been getting the 'you can stop now shes over 6months' lines my mum has been negative from the start & now everyones chipping in with the get her off the boob & on 3 meals lectures. Its such a shame they cant see how proud we are to have made such an achievement & how content are babies are. I have the same rule as Rachel, the opiions of my immediate household count & no others.
Keep going ,your doing great & if they dont feel comfortable with it , they can always leave the room or go home.
We are all here for you for support :group hug:
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Post by angpixi on Thu Jul 24, 2008 8:30 am

i think youve done fantastic to bf, you should be very proud of yourself, theres always going to be someone who thinks they know better and tries to enforce their opinions on you. just remember youre her mama and youre the one who knows whats best for your babe, you bf as long as you want to, alawys remember to come here for a rant or support too oh and to get some realy clever retorts to the comments! i think theres a whole post dedicated to it somewhere :aww: :aww: :aww:
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Post by Kasia80 on Thu Jul 24, 2008 9:40 am

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Post by angpixi on Thu Jul 24, 2008 11:17 am

cheers thats the one! its a great read, cheers you up even i you dont use them, though i have! Laughing
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Post by nickyjones on Thu Jul 24, 2008 11:44 am

Congratulations to you for BF and very well done for getting this far. Just ignore them all. I had the same thing from my Inlaws as well, and a bit from my Mum. Wasn't too bad until Ellie turned 1 then they kept mentioning it. We stopped when Ellie was 20months but that was only because Ellie stopped asking for it. It was her choice and she was ready. Keep it up, and WELL DONE!

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Post by Helen on Thu Jul 24, 2008 12:09 pm

I no its hard but just try and ignore the negative comments. Its usually from people who have ff and havent got a clue about bf. Your doing a brill job and you should continue as long as you and your baby want to! :aww:
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Post by kay on Thu Jul 24, 2008 12:27 pm

:aww: can only add to what the others have said hun :aww:

Its ignorance that leads to these comments, and its so sad Crying or Very sad

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Post by clairelana on Thu Jul 24, 2008 12:37 pm

Thanx for that link Kasia. I will be using some of them when i need to.
I don't understand why people ask when are you going to stop feeding. Its like your giving your baby something they shouldn't have. It not like its the best thing for them or anything....DURRR.

I think i'm gonna have problems with my hubby in a bit. He's already saying when you gonna out her on aptimil. My reply is always the same " i'm not".
We were talking about my breast pump bag the other day, as he has splattered paint on it (fool). He said ah well, when you gonna use it. I said when i go back to work. He told me not to be stupid she will be on aptimil then. I just laughed and said thats why i got you to buy me an expensive pump so i can carry on as long as possible. Men hey! I wish he was more supportive especially when its hard. All you need is someone saying just give her a bottle. (sorry moan over)

Claire
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Post by Kasia80 on Thu Jul 24, 2008 1:00 pm

For hubby:
http://breastbuddies.nice-forum.com/breastfeeding-and-nutrition-f24/the-deadly-influence-of-formula-in-america-t579.htm
http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/milk/infant-formula.html ----- whooooooole lot of stuff, really eye opening.
just scare pants off him Wink
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Post by kay on Thu Jul 24, 2008 1:01 pm

:aww: Claire!
So sorry he is not supportive - caan you give him a few articles off here to read? often it is lack of knowledge, and they understand more when they are more informed (my DH had a look on here, and a couple of msn chats with Katie, and is as hooked as me now!)

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Post by Kasia80 on Thu Jul 24, 2008 2:46 pm

kay wrote::aww: Claire!
So sorry he is not supportive - caan you give him a few articles off here to read? often it is lack of knowledge, and they understand more when they are more informed (my DH had a look on here, and a couple of msn chats with Katie, and is as hooked as me now!)

see, told you scare pants off him- I'm soooo scarry!!! Laughing :aww:

Seriously, get him to check links I've posted
( http://breastbuddies.nice-forum.com/breastfeeding-and-nutrition-f24/the-deadly-influence-of-formula-in-america-t579.htm

http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/milk/infant-formula.html )
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Post by Squiglet on Thu Jul 24, 2008 3:10 pm

I think its the uncomfortableness that they made me feel towards doing something in my own home.. I will be bfing till lil miss feels fit, but I had to endure several hours having my parenting methods questioned... I had a good cry later that evening though...

Is there any information as proof that its still really important that babies are bf'd past 6 months ... Most things I find just say it is but don't actually say what benefits you get from it..
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Post by kay on Thu Jul 24, 2008 3:31 pm

this is a good link

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

as is this one

http://www.nct.org.uk/info-centre/publications/view/7

hope this helps :aww:

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Post by kay on Thu Jul 24, 2008 3:36 pm

ooh and this one

http://www.who.int/topics/breastfeeding/en/

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Post by Natasha on Thu Jul 24, 2008 8:43 pm

Squiglet! You have done so well to get to 6 months, I can't believe noone in the family has praised you fot it!

The only thing I can see happening here is your MIL seems to like control over her son, because your on the scene shes lost that and has regret over not breastfeeding herself and now wants to take the great thing you done away to make her feel better and get her control back.

If you get me?

Shes seething inside because you have done the one thing all mothers (well I hope all mothers) want to do for their children, she couldnt or didn't do that and obviously regrets it, ignore the old bitch!

As for feeding past 6 months its very benificial, breastmilk or formula is the most important part of their diet in the 1st year of life, much more important than food.
Why when you have a living and full of goodness milk that constantly changes throughtout breastfeeding to meet you childs needs, want to replace that with a dead non living manufactured fake milk?

At the end of the day they can't make you do nothing and you know what I bet that really pees her off, so that would be another reason to carry on to pee your MIL off! Razz

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Post by Squiglet on Fri Jul 25, 2008 2:03 pm

Natasha wrote:Squiglet! You have done so well to get to 6 months, I can't believe noone in the family has praised you fot it!

The only thing I can see happening here is your MIL seems to like control over her son, because your on the scene shes lost that and has regret over not breastfeeding herself and now wants to take the great thing you done away to make her feel better and get her control back.

If you get me?

Shes seething inside because you have done the one thing all mothers (well I hope all mothers) want to do for their children, she couldnt or didn't do that and obviously regrets it, ignore the old bitch!

As for feeding past 6 months its very benificial, breastmilk or formula is the most important part of their diet in the 1st year of life, much more important than food.
Why when you have a living and full of goodness milk that constantly changes throughtout breastfeeding to meet you childs needs, want to replace that with a dead non living manufactured fake milk?

At the end of the day they can't make you do nothing and you know what I bet that really pees her off, so that would be another reason to carry on to pee your MIL off! Razz

:aww: :aww: :aww:

Thanks to everyone.. MIL is in Finland for 3 weeks cheers no dirty looks for 3 whole weeks as for DH... hes in a fine line with all this... I'll jump if he defends his mum over this...

I think you are right Natasha, my MIL only fed her eldest for a few months and "couldn't" feed DH although shes never said why... think theres a lot of jealousy there...
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